The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Cave Dwellers as such: one (as a prehistoric human) that dwells in a cave.
While this holds true for our prehistoric ancestors, FanSided Radio’s definition is a bit different and modern. Cave Dwellers: Those who enjoy technology, sports, food, beer, entertainment, and everything else that we as men hold close to our hearts, while dwelling in the mancave created for and by the tenant. We are modern day cave men, searching for refuge in a world where Manti Te’o gives interviews to Katie Couric and Lance Armstrong opens up to Oprah. A group who escapes to their cave to watch football and have a few brews with our bro’s, without conversations about “Dancing With The Stars” or “16 and Pregnant.”
For those who don’t understand us, we can be a complex and foreign entity. People see us as outcasts when we emerge from our Mancaves, unshaven and smelling of hot wings, pizza, and beer. I can see how they might see us as neanderthals, if only they knew the depths of our conversations and passions.
Some of us are into Sports, some into music. We are a diverse and growing number of men who congregate on College Football Saturdays or for Monday Night Football. We flee to our caves for a month of madness every March. We watch classics like “Scarface” and spice up our menu with some Cuban cuisine. Sometimes, and don’t let this secret out, we watch movies like “Brian’s Song” and break the man code by actually expressing feelings. We Cave Dwellers might listen to our favorite podcast and throw darts. It’s even possible that we might turn up the volume with music while we shoot a few games of pool.
All the while framed autographs from our hero’s of sports, music, movies, hang on the walls for all to see, right next to the retro neon light that we discovered at that beer show in Omaha. The paint schemes might be tailored after our favorite teams colors, while for some the classic wood paneling reminds us of a more simple time.
For me, the cave is covered with autographed Ted Williams memorabilia. There is also the giant flat screen, surround sound, and a comfy couch that seats a few die hard Cave Dwellar’s. There is the studio to record The John Ackeren Show and work on audio for the other FanSided based programming that we provide. I also have a few old tube radios that I listen to games on. It takes me back to my childhood, listening to Husker games before every game was on national television.
We can sometimes take our cave mentality outdoors, as the people pictured above have. This is ok, as even then we can take part of our mancave traditions and features with us. Music, technology, food, and beer can go with you, giving you comfort in a cold world.
The point is, we should celebrate our Mancaves and the men we are for having them. We need not live in the darkness anymore. You, our listeners and readers, are Cave Dwellers. UNITE, and welcome home!